Beach Etiquette

I have lived at the beach at this point, most of my life. Since so many of my land locked friends may be traveling to beaches for their own vacations this summer, I thought I'd share a couple of things that I've learned and observed:

1. I know you think when you're drinking on the beach that it somehow gets rid of that extra weight you've gained, adds on the hair you've lost and you're transformed into a cutie from a beer commercial. The reality is you annoy your neighbors, and prove your stupidity because drinking in high heat and humidity is only guaranteed to make you seriously ill.
2. If you're going to play football, put the beer down and either play close to the water or up by the dune. Do not try and catch a football with a beer in your hand three feet from me. Because when you hit me, I will not be happy. And- by the by, it's rude.
3. If you're one of those families that includes four million members and lots of screaming children, make sure you set up next to the rest of the screaming families. Trust me- they are easy to spot. Do not set up next to the singletons that just want to read their book and catch some rays.
4. The beach is lovely and gorgeous. So while you're there, and when you leave, take your crap with you. There are lots of trash cans and recycling bins that you pass on the way out to your car. Use them.
5. Remember those cute little politeness rules you learned as a 5 year old? USE THEM! Yesterday, I got hit by a football thrown by drunk frat boys with no apology. A friend told me a story about a family using his beach chair to store a family's boogie boards, and yet another person shared how she got pooped on by seagulls because the family next to her kept feeding them french fries. That's all rude, whether you're at a park, a pool or the beach. So DON'T DO IT.

There's always a rumble just getting ready to happen when locals meets tourists. Some people take the position of "I Hate Tourists". Some of us are more moderate, just adjust our schedules during the summer to limit contact, and remember to have some perspective because after all, the tourists are our livelihood. However, here's my advice to visitors- I know that you don't know where you're going, and that 35 in a 55 seems like a good idea. But just keep this in mind- try and be a little nice. Try and think of how you'd want visitors to your hometown to act.

And the next time you're at the beach, try to act like a human being. Remember, just because no one knows you here, doesn't mean that you can act any way you want.